Must Know Secrets To Goal Setting

All Artwork By Nicola Jane

FUNDAMENTAL CHANGE

We must strip back societal expectations and amplify our self-awareness. Only then can we understand what we truly love and what is stopping us from achieving our version of success. Hint, it’s not your summer bod – but a mindset shift. Once we have understood our internal motivations, we empower ourselves to unlock what is holding us back. By combing our passion in life with fundamental change, we are one step closer to achieving our dream world.

Contrary to news clippings, there is no one size fits all solution. But with self-reflection, it is possible to achieve your aspirations.

Paralysed by societies expectations, we become unsatisfied and lacklustre, desperately seeking our next fix. Feelings of inadequacy feed a vicious cycle as we load up on self-help guides and ways to ‘smash our goals.’ If external factors determine our motivations, the bar for milestones will only escalate into insatiable goals. This surmounting pressure to achieve it all manifests itself in a fragmented existence pieced together by life-hacks that lack fulfilment.

THREE MUST KNOW SECRETS TO GOAL SETTING:

“Detours do not equate failure; rather form essential foundation blocks for fundamental growth that will reap long term rewards.”

3. IMPLEMENT

This fundamental change stems from a mindset shift. Therefore, it’s important to solidify new thought patterns with daily reminders. For example, select a mantra or phrase and frame those words in plain sight. The repetition of intention is pivotal in this mindset shift because it becomes deeply embedded into long term memory. This phrase should serve as a reminder of why you have chosen this change, and inspire your goal setting process despite adversities. Attempting to force the change or drastically remake your surroundings could result in a kind of equilibrium whiplash. In order to avoid being overwhelmed, opt for incremental progress over time. The paradox of behavioural change governs that remaining consistent is key to rewiring your mentality. Overall, this sustainable shift towards better habits, ripples into an evolved lifestyle transformation.

New Year, New Who? January sparks an onslaught of fitspo, positive affirmations, goal setting, wellness tips and wardrobe solutions for becoming the best version of you. Do more, be better, change.

Annually we are berated with an influx of contradictory messages and ‘catch-all’ solutions urging us to buy this, spend less, switch off that, subscribe to more. Happiness, goals and dreams could be ours to grasp as soon as we implement the ‘one ingredient for a perfect summer body’ or read that ‘life-changing book.’ These one-sided quick fixes lack personalisation and consequently do not inspire a fundamental change.

Pressingly, such superficial goals have solidified themselves as today’s form of neo-perfection. We aspire to be the superhero women who can have the ideal lifestyle as soon as she masters a work-life balance. This illusory place is just within our reach yet always unattainable — a trojan horse, masked by good intentions.

“Frustrated by our inability to embody this fantasy and keep up with everything we’re ‘supposed to be,’ we internalise these messages of the ideal to imply we are not enough. As we attempt to mould, shove, squeeze into the best version of ourselves, we become more contorted.”

1. DREAM

Remember the days when you would play make-believe for hours? You could be anyone or anything. Every corner held possibility; even inanimate objects sparked life. Tap into that childlike sense of wonder and dream up your ideal lifestyle. No matter how ridiculous or far-fetched dare to aspire to new heights. These larger than life dreams are also known as Big Hairy Audacious Goals. Now, project each of these BHAG onto a vision board, mantra or mind-map to solidify your goal setting.

I’ve always loved the power of make-believe. But somewhere along the lines, I stifled my lust for innovation to make room for a picture-perfect resume and a fast-paced lifestyle. I stopped playing and dreaming. Overtime; my creativity corroded. Giving myself the space to imagine again reminded me of one of the things I cherish most, storytelling.

2. SACRIFICE

Here’s the thing that no one ever tells you about fundamental change, it involves sacrifice. The kind that no article can provide. Starts with self-reflection and ask yourself all the hard questions. A Self-induced cognitive behavioural therapy session may reveal why you genuinely haven’t achieved your goals yet. The exposure of laying it all bare offers clarity as to why things haven’t been working. The hard part follows. After identifying the issue, sacrifice the comfort zone that is holding you back. Only when you shed a new layer of vulnerability can you start the transformation necessary for goal setting and personal growth.

I suffer from an unrelenting restlessness. The kind that likens routine to ennui and stillness to suffocation. This stagnancy feels as though I’m crawling out of my skin. In an attempt to avoid the mundane, I slip into an endless loop of fluctuating extremes. The irony is while I had made the switch to eco-conscious practices my lifestyle was far from sustainable. I was unwilling to sacrifice my need for intensity and therefore couldn’t create a more fulfilling lifestyle, something needed to change.

Believe me; this is much easier said than done. Diverging paths and switching to a slower pace grated against everything I knew. An arduous battle with my inner monologue follows, to counteract these intrusive feelings of inadequacy I must rewire ingrained expectations.

After a tumultuous 2018, I’m resisting this inclination to run from the ordinary. Instead, I welcome a new mentality, one that values consistency and stability. Despite the growing pains, I am determined to shed my old skin and evolve.

Have you ever experienced growing pains? How did it turn out?